That Intriguing Corner of the Jazz Pub

All right, I haven't told you all about the very important thing that will approach in only 20 days.

On the 27th of August I'm leaving Poland for one year. I'm going abroad to USA, NY, Rome... yes. It's the program for Rotary Exchange Students, which means, that I am going completely alone and I will live with the american family (which seems to be very nice, at the moment). I am very happy, but with every day I'm getting more excited. Both confused and curious. I can't imagine leaving everything here everything behind... My family, friends, even the simplest things, like my room and Celviano. Gosh, I am happy about this new challenge and I think I will finally manage to do some things I miss here in Poland, but still... it sounds so hard.

Anybody from US, who knows Rome, Skaneteales, Buffalo, Rochester NY?...

I would love to finish high school in US, so that means that I would do the final exams there and I wouldn't have to come back to my polish school (it would be terrible after such year!). And polish matura exams are much, much more difficult than us ones... I hope will manage. I would love to... And then go directly on studies after this year.

Just a little memory, before I go. I'm sitting more in my room, that's why I started writing here something, I guess. I must change the way to my LJ, because it reminds me of my boring days, that I hope, won't come back. Must describe parties from now... lol XD

Hey,

Recently I wanted to write a bit in my LJ... but.. dammit, what's going on here?? Everything on my LJ is so TINY! I can't see anything what I write and what I wrote. Actually, it was one of the causes why I did not write for such a long time and I was too lazy to reair it. But now I would like to change it, when I sit alone in front of my comp and vacations began... :D

I know that it means there's sth wrong with my explorer and I shall change some parameters? I really don't know how to fix it. Please help, if you do?

I hope your vacations are nice... :)

So rushed, I was about to do so many things. Tomorrow I'm going to Sweden and I don't know why am I writing here something, considering my lack of time... oh, it's so late that I think I'm gonna just finish my pic and maybe finally say hi to my Charleston the tablet. I can hear him whining from loneliness...

Gawd! I just realized that my radiophones are broken!!! And I'll propably have to take those large, homie, beloved ones! 0_0!!! Shit, maybe there'll be a possibility to buy some smaller ones on the aeroplane...

All righty, enjoy your long weekends everyone who has it! Kisses and bye!

P.S. Hopes to party a bit... hee hee hee! XD

Remember what I told you about my last day (or it's rather 2 days ago right now)? About this silly thing about moods, completely crazy thing about changing them. So, the next day after my down one approached a very nice one.

First some hours I was with my family in our little house by the lake, we had grilled dinner and it was so delicious. I missed it so much! The only bad thing was the weather, it was raining and chilly. I was freezing while I was reading the book. But after all it was nice, Gala (the dog) had so much fun, she found one of her childhood toys that I once had thrown into the house's roof. ;)
Later when I got home I found a messagge on GG (polish version of ISQ) that 3 of my friends were going on some concert to the cathedral and they wanted me to be there too. I was confused, cause I was so much forest-like... but I thought that I alaways complain that nobody cares about me and never asks me to go out, and it wasn't true, so that's why I decided to go.

Firstly we spent some time on that concert, but it was abit dull... well, I could listen to it, but they were obviously bored. So we got out and walked around the city. Much fun, laughter and so on. And no alcohol - just cookies! :p

We heard there was a concert on th castle, so we sat in the very empty cafe next to it, so we could hear the music ^^ It was raining and bit cold, but it didn't matter. We sat on the moving table, and played sth like "the bottle", only with my umbrella. When sb didn't answer the question in 5 sec, then he/she was hit with the umbrella :D (not to mention it was my brutal idea :p). We asked each other funny questions and gave amusing answers, but there were also some serious ones, about love, our weakness and so on. While we were playing it I thought I must use my time until.... er, something, cause there're only 2 months left and these people are so cool. I felt so free and myself-like, I even told them that I didn't like Marcin and why. Why shoudn't they know - he didn't even invite them to his birthday party! But I was also referring to the fact that there's not much time left... (lol, I hope it dousn't sound as if I was going to die! ;) )

We sat much longer than we intended to and the time passed so quickly. Later we got back home, and I wanted to see a movie. I chose "Once upon in America", but it was so long (214 min!), that I will finish it today, it's even on two parts and it was too late to finish it the same night. But I'm really moved by it...

Tomorrow's Sweden! I hope my sis is alive, cause she seems to disappear somewhere with the bottle of vodka! ;D

Everytime I sit here to write sth on LJ I realize, that all my thoughts are somewhere out there... and in fact, I have so many of them. I have a feeling that when they hear the word of "publishing" they suddenly run away and hide, in order not to come up here. Just as when in the classroom the teacher wants to ask somebody, everybody's just suddenly so silent and pretend they know nothing.

So I don't know what to write about... Cause everything seems to be too deep and I'd rather write all these things in my own little crazy Word file. Oh yeah, I know. Last week I was on some writing screenplays 2-day lessons and not to boast, but I was the best. The woman that finished studies in Lodz liked my work the most and she was intrigued by me... I feel so free in this world, it's unbelievable. In addition I told her a bit about my plot of "The Missouri sky" and she really liked it. At the end she wished us some Academy Awards in the future and she looked at me :P yeah, I always feel much better, when it comes to some artistic stuff and I realize I suit there. After all, she gave us some important tips about writing screenplays. I definitely will use them, not to mention I actually I've done it already...

Btw, I started drawing 'The Missouri Sky' and that's why maybe my Deviantart account has been a bit empty. But I don't worry about that, I think it's the right thing to do. I'm tired of all this silly fanart, I just think I've grown up enough to do sth my own... In the past I was sometimes worried that I actually didn't create my own things, but reffered to others art. And now, I think the lack of that heart-interest in HP, LOtr, so on and so on is a good thing... isn't it?
Of course the drawing isn't fast, actually I have only 2 pages, but I also write the basis for the story (that's what I learnt also last week, not to write something at first time, with no consideration). Must say it somehow works.

I'm happy I'll be going to my sis in Lund (Sweden) soon, in 3 days. Now we have a long weekend here, and we don't have to go to school :D So that's why I can go there now. I want some parties... god, I soemtimes realize how much do I need. Stupid girl.
I've noticed a really weird and confusing thing in my behaviour, that once I feel completely down and it almost touches the edge of everything and another day it's usually so great, that I could say this is the best day of my life. Crazy I am, so crazy.
The first kind of moods comes to life when I'm usually alone, so that's why I try to avoid loneliness, cause I think too much. I'm dangerous to myself :P

Also the 60-year anniversary of our school approaches and I wanated to do sth... I was afraid that everybody has forgotten about me and didn't bother to ask me to join. So I asked Adam (my music teacher) about taking part in it and he was so happy that I wanted to do that. As if it was him to ask me about it with a confusion. Funny - it just means everything lies in your hands and you shouldn't wait sb will ask you, you must ask first! And of course I've been refering to my music abilities and songs, firstly I wanted to perform "Old-fashioned" only, but last night a pretty song spotted to my head and I'm thinking about playing it too.

Yesterday I had a great day and now it is so boring... I woke up at 13.30 (hey, my night in last two weeks consisted of 6-5 hours...), had a very strange dream (!) and just walked around the house, reading some books. And my theory seems to be fitting in, cause I'm so dull and everything seems to be so bleeergh. But I know it should go by once.

I think those quzies are more interesting than those from eg. Quizilla.

You Are A Realistic Romantic

You are more romantic than 70% of the population. It's easy for you to get swept away by romance... But you've done a pretty good job keeping perspective. You're still taken in by love poems and sunsets You just don't fall for every dreamy pick up line!

 

( More... )

The Pope is dead.

He was a great man. Let his soul remain among us, people, forever. And his words.

I just don't know what to say... I feel so lost. :(

[*]

Every channel broadcasts sth about the Pope. I guess every Pole thinks about him. It's impossible not to think...
I'm not a good catholic, though my family is. I'm not satisfied with it and I try to believe in God in my own way, leaving all this confusing and often betraying Church stuff. But... Pope is someone more, he's above all this stuff, and although I've never been thinking about him with a greater enthusiasm, I feel sorry and really worried.
Is it because of all these porgrammes, my connection with nation? Or is it just... the saddness because of a loss of a person-human - great person, who did so much and he's not high, like most of these catholic priests. He's an artist, a person with a good sense of humour and knowledge, so natural... And that's the most amazing, touching thing.
I hope it will be just as the Pope wishes. I hope it will be fine... however it sound a bit silly. But I'm truly sad. :(

( Some silly quizes I've been filling before I heard the news... )

Life goes on, as the title of this note says.

I decided to be myself and I won't pretend anything... I mean, I've never been posing as sb else or stuff like this, but now I'll try to be honest in this LJ. Or it better sounds - more honest.

Maybe you won't see it at tha first time, maybe never, but this is my decision :)

Okay... so what happened recently?

School started again and I was blowed away with..."happines" :> Jeez, I really didn't have a relax. I actually noticed that my time passes by too quickly and I have no control. And I'm afraid that most of it goes on unimportant things... first of all studying. But gosh, I can't help it! There's a seed of ambition in my sould and I can't throw it away. I'd love to do more things of my own, but then again I feel I should do sth else. Really stupid situation. Foolish. And still I'm not a nerd, that's the funniest thing of all.

I told you I'd be honest.

Something has gone off. And it smells like a blowed candle. You can only smell the past. Remember the light, but there's nothing more. I'd love to paint that and save somehow... I only don't know if I manage. I really miss that sight, and then again - I don't remember the warmth of it. It's like when you listen to elder people who talk about war times - "Oh" you think "these must have been horrible times, I feel so sorry." But then again, you'll never feel as much as those older people, cause you've never tasted war. So, it's the simmilar feeling. But again - the silliest of all - it was me, who tasted that "war". I am listening to myself?...

I told you I'd be honest.

Hi everybody!... Do you still remember me?... *waves nervously*

It's been pretty tough to get me sit on the chair and write here something... Cause I always thought "Nah, it's been such a long time since I published here ANYTHING" and I felt so much stupid. And there were so many things to write about - I'm gonna review them later as short as possible. I just was so busy in life. And actually still I am. I just forgot for a while about net and all this stuff. And I've done it too much, that's why I feel little bit confused. Especially because of the people I know from net - sorry.

Okay, the most important, greatest news are - I got a second place in a festival of an english song. It concerned quite big area of our country and I got second place!! I sang two of my songs, 'Old-Fashioned' and 'The mischevious fate.' And I got a fantastic DVD player - better than my current homie one! The only person that was better than me was a guy, who prepared me for the contest and is a great musician (he studies music.) I was so happy for both of us, it was all soo amazing! Believe me, I haven't felt happier for a very long time. It's been one of my greatest succeses.

Another thing concerns my future. I've been in Lodz, to show my pics and get some more information about animation (what a rhyme, btw :P ). Cause, as you know, I wanted to be an animator... yeah, I wanted. I talked to the principal of animation section (!) for about an hour. He said my works were good and I have a real talent, as I've never taken serious art classes... and yes, that's it. I know actually nothing about it. He said if I wanted to go for animation, now I'd have to sit and draw everyday various things, simple greayscales and that stuff... boring stuff... that never interested me. I was always confused, wether my interest in animation isn't connected with creating movies. You see, what fascinates me most, is creating stories, everything, music. And by drawing I could express it all, it was the easiest way. That's why... now I think there's only one road for me - to go for filmmaking studies. Yes. I was really confused that day, but when time passed, I thought that must be it... it just focuses it all what I'm fascinated by. It's really hard to get on these studies, but I have a plan. I hope it will work... Shit. I must start directing something. Yeah... if I only get a new camera.
And in addition - I LOVED this school. It was just like... that I belonged there. I'll try as much as I can. There was such a great atmosphere and everybody was so nice. And the principal himself talked only with me how to get on animation studies! :D

What's more... it's Easters right now. I'm afraid to put on weight, as I've lost some kilos recently. Heheh... and I ate two cakes :P

And my life with friends is much more interesting. Though there were some very, very, very hard moments recenlty and still they live in my soul. But I can't write about it. Nobody would ever understand...

( Some photos from the festival! )

Sorry guys. I haven't been here for a looong time. I don't actually know why... Well, the first week of January was HORRIBLE as the first part of schoolyear was ending and I had to improve my marks as well as I could. The second week - I went skiing and that was fun! I really liked it, I was scared I wouldn't manage (my poor condition because of not attending to sport classes), but I was as good as my dad and sister (almost :D).
And the next week... I thought I'd relax, but the days went by oh-so-quickly! I didn't even see I was actually recovering myseld from working crisis. I also visited my friend in a small town and I enjoyed it very much. Snow and coldness all around, and the group of friends... :)

Today there was the first day of school and I of course didn't enjoy it, but it was nice to meet all my class. Unfortunately two guys from our class moved to other schools - whom one of them I really liked. He was so funny and gave such a positiv energy to everybody. But... sigh, he didn't learn. Anyway, I felt the lack of him.

And the vision of my future is becoming more and more clearer, you know?... Actually... I'm thinking about studying animation. Yeah! :) I feel that's such a very right thing for me! Especially when it gives me so much pleasure and according to Deviantart, I've improved a lot and still I try. It makes interested in that section more and more. I've been looking for schools teaching it and there's a place where I wanted to study film direction before, a famous and good school of movies in Lodz. And if there wasn't animation... I'm thinking about doing such things in movies connected with music, special effects, taking everything into one - in polish we say "montaż" for this stuff, sorry, I have the english word at the tip of my tongue ^^; After all : I'm sure I wanna do sth connected with movies, artistic, otherwise I'll be the dumb and never forgive myself. Of course if they don't take me at the first time (and there's always a very big possibility), I'll study sth between-whiles, so it would give me good knowledge, but still, I won't give up. At this time I think so.

One more thing... do you believe in impossibility? And dreams becoming true?
Or maybe you should stay more into the ground? What do you do?

Ooh, btw, I just noticed that excatly one year passed since I've created my LJ account! So, Happy Little Birthday to my little LJ-poo!!! *celebration*

Hmm... it wants as a birthday present...*whisper*... Oh my! What an offencive thing!!!

Wants to update it regularly! Lol! But I know it loves me anyway! ^^

Current Mood: Back again...

I haven't been here for a while... but sometimes it happens. ^^;

So, first of all, Happy New 2005 Year everyone!!! I hope all your new year's wishes come true and your celebrations were fun. My definitely was - I was on two parties, firstly with a group of friends and some people I only knew from the sight, but it was ok. It was a fine party - but we really lacked alcohol... About at 4 AM I wanted to see my other friends so I got a cab and went to the end of the city to see them! I paid so much money - but it doesn't matter. The thing was fun! :D

I also got back to school... I don't have good marks, you'd say - but believe me, these are one of the best. The year was VERY hard and I think I worked hard. Everybody, even those good students are much worse than last year. And I must say, I'm quite proud. I'm only MAD at my horrible pchysics teacher, who pretends to be "a good pal", but in reality she's just soo insincere and unpleasant. I missed one point to get C, so I ended up with D...(for polish folks - D is 2, right?). But oh man, fuck it.

Last night I listened to the great Jazz audition to 2.AM that my teacher told me about - unfortunately I recently have no oppurtunity to talk about it with him...

In a while we're going to see a new art exhibition in a gallery, my mum is one of the special guests (she owns an own art gallery.) These are the paintings by very famous polish artists, that after all these wars happened to be in some eastern countries.

I need to draw a bit - recently I was soo stressed and I'm like obsessed with learning! I'm everybody will ask me and make short tests - AAAAH! But hopefully fun at school and friends make it easy =) I also composed a new song... I mean, it's only teh beginning - but everytime I listen to it, I feel like it's sth very different, much more mature. And I'm proud - must work on it.

So, cheers!

Current Mood |  Artistic |

So it's after Christmas... They were short, as usual. The new year's approaching and I'm really curious about it. You can read more about it in further LJ notes! ;)

I'm truly happy, as my X-mas card is finally finished. You can see it under the cut.

( Christmas Coming to Town )

I hope your Christmas were warm and nice, with lotsa good food and presents. I wanted to thank you especially  sarumansister  and templado, who sent me beautiful cards made by them. It was so lovely - thank you girls! And everybody else, both those who gave me some wishes and those who didn't :D

I find myself so lazy... I'm sure it was the card that made me so exhausted. When I had that busy time I could manage to draw all the time (well, in the spare time), and now, when I have too much of it, I even can't grab the pencil. Only color those pics I did earlier - ah, it always happens like this. The same old story.

Tonight I'll propably see 'Mulan II' - I'm curious about it, as 'Mulan' is one of my very beloved animated movies. And kinda afraid, as all those Disney sequels used to be such a crap.

Mmkay, gotta work a lil' bit. Cheers. =) 

Current Mood: Joy to the world :)

Yeah... I'm not dead... In fact I even came back to Poland :)

I'm still busy (!!!), lotsa Christmas stuff to do downstairs and my X-mas Card isn't fifnished yet!!! *stressed* But when it's done I'll let you know... curently I'm satisfied with it, but the worst is waiting... the background!

All righty. I only wanted to tell you some words...

I wish you all merry christmas and a very good year 2005. 2004 was very important to me, it has changed me both as an artists and as a person. I also knew lotsa great people, including all of my LJ friends :) This year was - as I expected - wonderful. Maybe not in that point I thought (HP, ROTK...), but more like life-one.
I wish you all creativity, ability to dream and have fun though we may not sometimes see it - always be yourself, feel as if you enjoy yourself and your life. Cherish each day.

BIG HUGS FOR EACH OF YOU!!! *HUG HUG HUG*

And of course I wish you all great presents, lol! :D

Current Mood: Rushed

Oh my, there weren't busier times in my life than last 2 weeks... I'm serious and drained. But I'm also excited, as my work has turned out to be quite satisfying and I'm going to Sweden to my sister!!! I truly can't wait, but it happened so fast, that I didn't even notice it! Heh, you know, what I mean...

'Jazz to the world' was a real success!!! My teacher loved it, and I remember him being really suprrised - I bet he didn't expect to get such a thing. All of my friends loved it and even requested the album for themselves. But my cd-recorder is broken! Fortunately I even could record the cd for the teacher... phew... Oh, and one more thing - he named the Gingerbread 'Ginger' and it was so funny how he introduced this little thing to us, with words that it's his new friend, he looks for a new bed and etc... lol :D

What's more... I drew hell a lot sketches, don't think, that I didn't draw! I did - during classes, in short brakes, but did a lot. I only don't know when will I color and publish them - because I'm still rushed and have to START coloring my X-mas pic. At least I have sketches... But I'm afraid I won't be on time. I'll do my best... It's better to do sth and later instead of doing nothing at all, isn't it?

Sorry about commenting others' LJs, but you see how busy am I... I promise, during Christmas I'll catch up.

Now, off we go!

[Current Mood:  Captured! In chains! XD |

 

At the moment don't expect me to hear from me too much... I'm OVERWORKED and I nearly have no time for pleasures, and there's no exagerating here. Go to school, during clesses preparing for other lessons, otherwise I won't be on time with everything. It's horrible...

I still need to work on 'Jazz to the world' cover and the list of songs. If the teacher I'll give the album to asks me tomorrow, I'm gonna kill him. So, bye for now.

( The good things... )

|Current Mood :   Stressed! |

Oh man, finally the weekend... last night I learnt to 01.30 AM stupid history and wrote an essay. I thought I won't pull through and go to bed directly... But I didn't :P

Today I was looking for the present for my teacher (except for the cd) with my friend Sajko, we found sooo many stupid things, but any of them really suited him! I'm stressed! I thought that it would be much easier... In addition all the little cake-men (dunno their names, I mean those cakes like from 'Shrek'^^;) were gone and I wanted to buy him one, I also was thinking about a little book about christmas in english, but I live in Olsztyn and I can forget about sth original! *mad* There's also a great mascot of a jazz-reindeer, playing a sax, but it's way too expensive and that's MEH who wants to get it... The only thing I have for a present is a bag *headdesk* In addition the the chocolate Santa Clause totally cracked up in my bag, though I took care of it so much!!! So that's how the part of the present turned out to be my evening snack. :]

The next week seems to be the worst of all and I'm gonna spend the whole weekend on learning. I think I'm gonna dance with joy.

I was recently thinking of drawing a comic... yes. I gave it up a copuple of years ago, as it took me too much time. But now, I'm not sure if it's the best way to show what's in my head. I mean, I'm not such a good writer to show everything - drawing expresses it much better and it feels more like a movie. But I'm kinda scared, I mean, the single picture takes lotsa effort, not to mention a comic - I know sth about that. Hmm.

( And here's the pic I drew and colored yesterday, among history and an essay. :) )

OMG!!!

How Insane Are You?
Created by andy and taken 29351 times on bzoink!
Name
Age
Your problem	Schizophrenia
Will it be cured	Very doubtful
Insanity	74%
Create a Quizlet | Search Quizlets | Go to bzoink!

How Insane Are You?
Created by andy and taken 29352 times on bzoink!
Name
Age
Your problem	Sexual Addiction
Will it be cured	Forget about it
Insanity	97%
Create a Quizlet | Search Quizlets | Go to bzoink!

Current Mood :   Jazzy

 

 That day was quite interesting. First of all, after school I found some of my friends standing in front of the building (not from my class, o'course :P). I actually wanted to go to KFC to eat something, but I went with them to the empik store. I found there the jazz album I wanted to order through net, Till Bronner. Later, when I wanted to go, the movie guy (yes, he was there) said he would he goes also. Um, ok... When I was near KFC, he said he would go and just take me there, then he came into the place with me in order to see what I'll order, and eventually I ended up with him eating vegetarian pizza (as he doesn't eat meat on fridays ^^). I paid for everything, as he didn't have money - but he promised to take me once somewhere or repay in sth else. It was pretty nice to talk with him, and talk about SOMETHING - I enjoyed it a lot. In addition he showed me some of his drawings - he's practising a lot to draw Chi's portrait in oils, so know he was scetching... he also showed me other pics of manga, though they were copied, I liked them... Anyway, the dinner was very, very nice :)

 Later I had to go on the stupid physics lecture, in order to get some points for my lessons...gosh, fortunately it wasn't that long, so I could focus somehow ^^ But I have to admit there was only one thing quite interesting. After that me and Lnu went to the city, as we planned ealier.
 Of course to Bohema. We did things we did list time... Yes... some cheers, so many crowded thoughts. I feel so lucky to have her. I'd never become what I am without her, I guess there's the same thing about my meaning to her. Anyway, it's good to have someone to talk to, talk in riddles and she understands me anyway. We sent some very funny sms' to our friend, lol :D

I'm listening to the very beautiful song... Till Bronner's. I'm even sure that it's lyrics that make it so special... Anyway, It's so much beautiful.

( Wishing Well lyrics )